Men Need Game Too!
According to an article in Mail Online, men give up on their appearance a full 13 years earlier than women (click here to read). Studies have shown that women continue to work on their fitness and appearance up to age 59, although they report being twice as likely to lack confidence in their image. Among the 2,000 men and women who took part in the survey, about a third said the lack of confidence and care in their appearance was due to unhappiness. The most damaging news in the study was that two thirds of married couples thought it was normal to give up on their appearance. If unhappiness erodes a person’s motivation to care about their appearance, how can we be supportive of our partners and encourage them to update their image?
Most of my personal shopping clients are women ages 35 – 60, and I see this situation arise on a fairly regular basis. After working with my female clients and helping them emerge out of what I call the â€œIâ€™m stuck haze,â€ they often share with me their desire to have their partners update their appearance as well. They’re often hesitant to discuss it, however, because they donâ€™t want the conversation to lead to hurt feelings. They say their partners are often insecure, anxious about spending money, or they simply havenâ€™t made style a priority. My belief has always been that there is never an age when we should not put forth the effort to look and feel the best we can. Since when is complacency or giving up an option?
If you’d like your partner to understand the importance of maintaining their appearance through healthy eating, exercise, and attractive, updated clothing, here are some gentle guidelines that may be helpful:
- Let him know that while you don’t want to nag him, you feel it is important that you both complement one another.
- Take the time to go through your partner’s closet with him to get rid of outdated or ill-fitting clothes.
- Offer to donate or consign the goods with him.
- Plan a shopping trip together to buy a few updated pants, shirts and shoes. Let him get used to the fit and style before purchasing more. (It’s similar to test driving several cars before making the big purchase.)
- Compliment him on the effort he is making and how great the change has been.
- Embrace the process with humor and TLC. Both will go a long way to ease any strain or resistance.
A final note: Keep in mind that this process may require you to take â€œbaby steps.â€ I’ve found that in most healthy marriages, once the partner realizes how happy you are in your own style, they want to follow suit! Presenting them with a consultation as a gift certificate may be the easiest way to begin the conversation. With graduation season, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day approaching, there are ample opportunities for you to offer the gift of style to the one you love. Lifting the â€œfashion hazeâ€ that affects most couples takes time and effort, as well as good communication.
From My Closet to Yours,